Posted by: Isidora | August 21, 2011

Isis the Ass-Kicker

Just the other day, I had the opportunity to be in the same room with several other priestesses of Isis and we were talking about Her (as priestesses of Isis are wont to do). All of us agreed with this statement: “Isis will kick your ass.” And each of us knew exactly what the others meant by that. We had all experienced it, you see.

Lovingly, insistently, persistently, She will help you grow. Please present butt.

But just in case  you haven’t yet had the opportunity to have your own sweet butt kicked by the Goddess, I’ll explain.

When you undertake a priest/essly relationship with Isis, it is more than likely that She will ask something of you. For instance, She might want you to get your physical surroundings in order so that you can create a temple space for yourself. She might want you to quit smoking. She might want you to start a group to teach Her Mysteries. She might want you to create a ritual or a work of art. She might ask you to volunteer at a homeless center. She might insist you learn something particular—or finally see a doctor about that issue you’ve been having. In my case, She wanted me to write books for Her.

Now, I say, “She might want,” but what I really mean is, “She will demand.” Not in a whiny, naggy way, but in an insistent, just-keep-bringing-it-up-to-you way. Like a good mother teaching Her child, the Goddess makes sure that Her request just kinda seems to be in your face all the time…until you do it, or at least until you get started on it.

But that’s just the surface stuff.

The real ass kicking is what happens as you actually undertake your mission from the Goddess. You grow; and growth can sometimes be painful. What Isis asks you to do usually has some value in terms of your earthly life (a cleaner house, cleaner lungs), but the secret is that this particular task has also been chosen by Her to help you grow spiritually. This means that it will usually bring up some soul issues (psychology is the study of the soul; you knew that, right?) that you need to deal with in order to serve competently as Her priestess or priest.

And while you’re trying to deal with those little tender spots in your psyche, She will also demand of you complete honesty. Honesty with yourself. You must accept your part in your own problems; and you must accept your greater part in the solution. There’s no hiding, no blaming other people, no whining. (Well, you might whine a little and, in that case, She will always, always comfort you.) This combination of Divine persistence and motherly comfort and kindness creates the space for Her priestesses and priests to truly grow in Her presence.

Personally, I’ve never been sorry when She kicked my ass. I think the priestesses with whom I spoke the other night would agree. How about you?



  1. Amma Iset, dear Sister. I just have to laugh out loud at the timing of reading this post, having just showered from yet another several hours in the yard cleaning, clearing, and creating a sacred space of my entire yard. Since Isis called me last year it has been a long flurry of cleaning, clearing, magical study, and getting my nose rubbed in my nonsense, like a puppy. Isis the Ass-Kicker, indeed!. And yes, while She is insistent, She is also compassionate. It just makes me want to try harder for Her.

  2. If someone has ever had differences with someone who happened to be an Isis worshiper, would that make worshiping Isis problematic for this person? I hope this wasn’t too vague of a question.

  3. Umm. It’s a bit vague. But generally, differences between people shouldn’t preclude them from following any spiritual path that calls to them. Differences between people are between people, not Deity. Hope that helps!

  4. Yes, that helps, and if I can confuse you any further, please let me know.

  5. I like this article, because it speacks to me so loud. After every magic work that I practiced I felt sometimes bad inside me.
    After kabbalistic magic or other rituals it was the same thing and I stopped my work.
    I understand now that I’m not the only one who feel this and that it is not so negative because it helps to grow and in fact it is positive.

    • I’m so glad this spoke to you. Indeed, growth can be hard…but it’s usually good hard, if you know what I mean. And Isis will never steer you wrong. She can be insistent, but also very kind.


  6. […] put Her off at all. She simply kept coming back and tapping on my shoulder (please see my post on Isis the Ass-Kicker). No suspense in this story, eventually She wore me down and I began preparing to dedicate myself […]

  7. […] They say that once a profane man, who was not one of those descending into the shrine, when the pyre began to burn, entered the shrine to satisfy his rash inquisitiveness. It is said that everywhere he saw ghosts, and on returning to Tithorea and telling what he had seen he departed this life. I have heard a similar story from a man of Phoenicia that the Egyptians hold the feast for Isis at a time when they say she is mourning for Osiris. At this time the Nile begins to rise, and it is a saying among many of the natives that what makes the river rise and water their fields is the tears of Isis. At that time then, so said my Phoenician, the Roman governor of Egypt bribed a man to go down into the shrine of Isis in Coptos. The man dispatched into the shrine returned indeed out of it, but after relating what he had seen, he too, so I was told, died immediately. So it appears that Homer’s verse speaks the truth when it says that it bodes no good to man to see godhead face to face. (Pausanias, Book X, Phocus, Ozolian Locri, 32, 10-17) Tithorea was an Isis sanctuary in Greece. The Coptos tale is clearly from the Roman period. Isis remains fierce even today; just ask Her priestesses and priests about Isis, the Ass Kicker. […]

  8. Haha I haven’t had my ass kicked yet, but a few days ago I felt like I was being told to study for my chemistry exam instead of procrastinating.

  9. Hello, My name is Isis Of course and it is quite funny to be seeing an article like this. I have been researching about Isis and Yes, I agree that she is an ass-kicker. 😀

  10. You have a most wonderful name-sake! Many blessings…and watch your ass 😉

  11. […] Fortuna is Isityche and Isis Fortuna and that She is most decidedly not blind, although She will kick your ass when you need it. (And we all do now and then, don’t we?) And so, I wish you always, Good […]

  12. How do you know for certain that Iset has called you as Priestess? And what would be the most honorable response to such a sacred call? Lastly, is conducive for the work of a Priestess to marry?

    • Hello Iyana!

      I’m smiling because you commented on this particular post. Am I right in assuming Isis has kicked your ass in some subtle or not-so-subtle way? So, easiest part first: marrying, most certainly. The Goddess Herself was married; I know many priestesses who are as well as many who are not. Your choice. The other part of your question is trickier, mainly because that certainty isn’t the same for everyone. My suggestion would be to try it on for size for a while….perhaps as a Votary (one devoted to exploring a relationship with Her) before taking the priestess vow. I don’t know what your background or experience may be, but if you haven’t worked with Her much, this would be a wonderful time to allow yourself time to get to know Her and discover Who She is for you. No need to rush. If She is not new for you, well, She may be urging you along your Path. And, if you already do have a relationship with Her, you can always ask—directly or through divination. Many blessings on your beautiful journey.

  13. Isis is totally kicking my butt…. I just *started* a more formal relationship with Her (one involving having an offfering plate for Her in front of Her picture, rather than just meditating and/or praying without pictures or physical offerings) and now She is kindly but strongly suggesting I should try celibacy for a while. Now I’m not in a relationship and I do not have a particularly wild night life….most of the time, but I still think this is quite daunting. I’m not sure whether this is a temporary thing or something more permanent. But I will just go with it, as Goddess always knows best! *gingerly touches hurting kicked butt*

    • That is a bit daunting. I’m going to guess it’s more of a temporary thing intended to get your attention and focus. Here’s some context that might help: if you were going to serve in an ancient Egyptian temple, you would have to remain celibate for a 10-day period before your service (and during it as well, of course). When the Isis religion came to Rome, there was a period of celibacy known as the Castimonium Isidis or “Chastity of Isis.” Some of the Roman poets complained that their mistresses were undergoing this period of abstinence and thus wouldn’t sleep with them. We don’t know too much more about it, but it surely must have been a period of preparation and purification, possibly before undergoing a particular ritual—or perhaps before serving—at Her temple.

      • Thank you Isidora, that is very helpful. I feel honored you replied to me, as your blog shows you to be so extremely erudite in everything concerning Isis.
        I now remember to have heard about the Roman practice of abstinence, and in Apuleius, Lucius also needs to abstain before his initiation, if I remember correctly – not just from sex but also from eating meat.
        This might be a temporary thing and even a preparation for something important, I don’t know yet. I will just try to stay open for any guidance I may receive on the matter.
        Again, thank you 🙂

  14. […] ass when necessary (I say this only because one of the most recent comments on my blog was about Isis the Ass-Kicker…which She will do. I love You, Isis. Thank You, Isis.) And if I may say so, each of you has […]

  15. I just saw your response, thank you!

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